At the most basic psychological level, there are actually three types of people: those who see the glass as half-empty, those who view the glass as half-full and those who will argue for hours to make sure the glass at all!
Now ask yourself which category you fall into? Do you inflate and encourage - or are you more like a human vortex, a steady drain on emotional resources? Have you courage, builder, or spirit, suckers? Do your colleagues view you as a burst of upbeat energy - or as a vitality-vampire, sucking blood from their positive partners? Are you ego-booster or ego-buster?
When you really start to embrace the fact that your words and actions contribute to the overall energy and happiness in their lives and those of your associates, you'll make a radical decision to positively overcome Outlook, speech and action. Now, let's look at seven top ego-busting behaviors -. How can we help those who use these destructive communication patterns, and how we can change these behaviors in our language
1 Most of the negative saying - that the organization would flourish, and not flounder or experience flat growth, they need to pump its positive speech. Very often, these are people who suffer from the ball-and-chain syndrome - where every task (no matter how small) -. Crushing is a job an insurmountable burden
• You: If most of your day-to-day dialogue is negative, pessimistic, sarcastic, hurtful, harmful, blame-ridden, guilt-inducing and filled "I can'ts expanded with additional doses," poor poor-pitiful-me, "may it be time for you to make positive healthy changes. Try to achieve a better balance by choosing positive, optimistic, reassuring, encouraging, morale-building, forward-thinking," I can "words.
• Others: If you hear another engaged in negative dialogue, first acknowledge them by saying, "Gee, it sounds like you're really unlucky," or "I can tell you for what you say you're frustrated." Then ask them: "Share with me something that will be right." You can also offer a comment such as, "Do you realize that when you complain / negative about ________ that it really has a negative impact on my morale - and what I need from you is to hear you offer some of the positive things that are happening around here ."
2 "I did not do it!" - Truth be told, no one cares about what you are willing to do or not do. They are only interested in finding out what you have done, are willing to do or could do. Experts agree that if any person involved in the task was only 10 percent of the responsibility of the project outcome (negative or positive), the work responsibility could be evenly distributed and shared.
people who play the "blame game" lose on all accounts: They do not operate as a team player and lose his colleagues' respect. To play "blame game" is a career killing move.
• You: If you blame others, but the task really is not your responsibility, then give the person who needs the task completed very specific and helpful information. Without it, you will seem lazy, cooperation, non-team player. If you continue to play the "blame game", no one will approach you with any new tasks. Task assigning = trust.
• Others: If someone is blaming another, you can ask them: "What you can do and what you are willing to do in this situation," In these situations, blaming throwing can go on forever, so often, causing some of the information is better than nothing.
3 Grapevine Gossipers - If you think you have nothing to talk about, if you leave out all the gossip in your everyday speech - You need to reassess your communications! Gossip is harmful, especially in the workplace. How far will employers go to stop gossip? Two years ago, municipal workers in Cascavel, Brazil, is prohibited from gossiping during working hours in accordance with the new law. Each public employee caught spreading rumors or gossip about a colleague ran the risk of cancellation. The city claimed that civil servants are entitled to work in a professional environment and said the new law promotes integrity.
In 2001, a survey conducted by the country's UK group, Industrial Society, claimed that, on average, American men gossip more than žena.Ideja that is largely a matter of gossip of women is deeply rooted, saying that more men than women, gossip is like saying that men have more shoes than women's
!
How do you define gossip? Authors of the study described true gossip as meeting five essential criteria:
• the person who talks about is not present,
• people have a conversation with an established relationship with the subject,
• The information has a direct impact on the lives of the people conducting the conversation,
• The conversation is generally negative in tone, and
• The conversation is morality-based in its implications.
study acknowledges, however, that men and women gossip quite differently. While women gossip primarily of bonds with each other, and men do it to bolster their self-esteem.
• You: If your department "gossip grapevine" gossip to try to reduce by 10 percent. You'll soon find that it is easy to reduce the time you spend "sharing news and views" about co-workers and managers. You want to feel included and embraced in your group, but what you actually did serve as an "enabler" of a negative relationship.
• The Other '?. Why is sharing this information with me, I'd prefer not to talk about ____ without him / her here: "When someone tries to share gossip with you, ask them to defend others in their absence , just as you would want others to defend you. And remember, if a person gossips with you, they will gossip about you!
4 "I'm OK, but you are wrong" - Perhaps the most serious form of conduct to deal with passive-aggressive behavior is an insidious role in interpersonal communications. The "I'm OK, but you are wrong" (but I'm not going to verbalize it, I'll just subtly undermine you) behavior can prove frustrating.
• You: If you are guilty of passive-aggressive behavior, you need to more carefully identify your needs. Do not expect positive responses from its negative innuendos and sarcastic "off-the-cuff" comments. Try more articulately, concisely and clearly state your needs.
• Other: Those who fall into passive-aggressive behavior tend to be negative jabs in his speech, and then follow it up with comments like: "Gosh, I just joking" or "Lighten up!" and "Can not you take a joke?" remarks. How to deal with this type of behavior, you can ask the person to repeat all the necessary information, deadlines, contracts, etc., and (face-to-face) to agree to certain conditions. Whatever you do, do not be sarcastic or trying to "even the playing field" with similar negative comments, it will only serve to further "fuel the fire" in passive-aggressive individuals.
controllers and micro-managers -. That is, the original level form of behavioral control
• You: If you can micro-manage your employees and co-workers, your core issue is trust. You do not trust in people. As a result, people will not trust you. Some people set their deadlines -. Typically, they require shorter periods than they would as a result, they will have a better attitude about the project and their ability to
• Others: When you find yourself working for a micro-manager, you have to run a positive campaign communications. Push a constant flow of communication to your manager. Use phrases like: "This is where I am on this project, and if I hear from you otherwise, I will go forward in [Step B]." Send to a rich flow of updates and information, allowing a person to (slowly but surely) to develop confidence in the employment relationship.
5 "Poor Me" victim mentality -. This is very damaging ego-busting behavior can spell "disaster" for the budding career of
• You: If you indulge in a "victim mentality", you realize that the poor can (sometimes irreversible) damage your career. Using the "poor me" excuse in the professional area may seem ill equipped to handle non-demanding situations, making it the second you would be considered completely incompetent to manage more stressful and challenging one. Understand that serves no positive purpose whine and moan, "another department got all new computers ... We never would have been good things," type speech. It just brands you as a top department grumbler, grouch and complainer.
• Others: If you work with someone who always looked half-full glass as half empty, you will need to assist them in moving communication in a more positive direction
.
6 Cyclops syndrome - Diagnosis "Cyclops Syndrome" is easy. People who have it, have a great "eye" - which is focused solely on themselves. This self-centered behavior stems from egocentric mentality - "It's all about me enough about you, now let's talk about me ......!" I also call this "one-upmanship" communications or "Uh," Syndrome -. Or our personal stories (OOPS) syndrome
• You: If you use "I" oriented dialogue, it is time to reassess your focus on others. If you do not congratulate others on their victories, but use them as (yet another) opportunity to be raised, "Oh, I already got a raise" rather than "Congratulations on your raise!" -. Stop your egocentric speech patterns
• Others: People suffering from the "Cyclops syndrome" does not allow another point. "The focus is" completely unaware of other needs, they always have better stories, more wins or more impressive development than anyone else (or OOPS - our personal story). Selfish Cyclops sighted people will always shift and bring the focus back on himself: "Oh, you think you have a problem in your department, just wait until you hear mine" and "If you think your child is well at school, my work better ..."
